He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
