chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
