Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
