How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
