operation harelip BJ is a go
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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