last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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