worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think I am morally bankrupt
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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