Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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