Where did you get a picture of my penis
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
