i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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