hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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