he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
