My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
