There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
