sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
