You smell like stripper and shame
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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