I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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