I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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