Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
