please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The air was thick with penises
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
