it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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