woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
