even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
