Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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