you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
