two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
