They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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