bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
