i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
