My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
