You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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