I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
