He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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