so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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