some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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