I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
