stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
