we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dicks are not precious.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
