We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
