It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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