my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
