quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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