so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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