Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
