She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
