when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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