sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
