yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
