he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
