Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
